Two Understandings from Yaya

Bumpa · 2024-01-19T02:56:55.034Z

1. Although I had the great privilege of hosting Chloe and her family on various vacations or stopovers in Los Angeles and points south (e.g. Disneyland, Santa Monica Pier, Disneyland, Knotts Soak City, Disneyland, Raging Waters, and, did I mention, Disneyland?); my connection with her was really only third or fourth hand (me to my daughter to her dearest friend, Laurabeth, to Chloe). And yet. Whenever my daughter would give me updates on Chloe or tell me about their latest lunch together, not once did I have to scan my memory bank to remember who she was talking about. Even a little bit of Chloe was enough to remember her for a lifetime. 2. Old enough to be Chloe's grandmother, I, like all my contemporaries (ok, boomers), have experienced the inexpressible pain of lives ending way too soon. And yet. Even at this early stage, this time feels almost imperceptibly yet stubbornly different to me because, this time, joy adamantly refuses to behave, to sit still, to be quiet. Andrew and Jack's tributes to their sister at her service exemplified this phenomenon, this "Chloe effect", best; for, even spoken through unimaginable pain, the joy of having her in their lives, brief as it was, seemed to be simmering, misbehaving right underneath their tears. We will see Chloe again to be sure. And luckily, she left behind enough stories and head-shaking ridiculous joy to last the journey. I'm looking forward to reading about some of that here . . .

Although I had the great privilege of hosting Chloe and her family on various vacations or stopovers in Los Angeles and points south (e.g. Disneyland, Santa Monica Pier, Disneyland, Knotts Soak City, Disneyland, Raging Waters, and, did I mention, Disneyland?); my connection with her was really only third or fourth hand (me to my daughter to her dearest friend, Laurabeth, to Chloe). And yet. Whenever my daughter would give me updates on Chloe or tell me about their latest lunch together, not once did I have to scan my memory bank to remember who she was talking about. Even a little bit of Chloe was enough to remember her for a lifetime.
Old enough to be Chloe's grandmother, I, like all my contemporaries (ok, boomers), have experienced the inexpressible pain of lives ending way too soon. And yet. Even at this early stage, this time feels almost imperceptibly yet stubbornly different to me because, this time, joy adamantly refuses to behave, to sit still, to be quiet. Andrew and Jack's tributes to their sister at her service exemplified this phenomenon, this "Chloe effect", best; for, even spoken through unimaginable pain, the joy of having her in their lives, brief as it was, seemed to be simmering, misbehaving right underneath their tears.

We will see Chloe again to be sure. And luckily, she left behind enough stories and head-shaking ridiculous joy to last the journey. I'm looking forward to reading about some of that here . . .